Archive | January, 2014

Things Amy learnt. Part one.

16 Jan

Amy once crossed the line and left on an adventure. Somewhere, she lost her diary, and I thought it would be worth sharing:

Page one: Note to herself.

”Dear you,

It’s you. Your memory’s not one of your virtues, we all know that, so here’s this notebook, where you’ve been writing down every thought you’ve had since you left your place. Please, don’t ignore it. That’s if you want to be a better person. Otherwise, fuck it.


Page two and following: Thoughts, thoughts and lessons.

1. You’re beautiful. No matter what. Still, don’t forget you could be even more beautiful. I know you, and you’re about to make a mistake. Stop looking for the nearest surgeon. I’m talking about your inner self. We all have virtues. We all have flaws. We all are people. So stop judging yourself that bad. Enjoy life. It’s the only one you have (but PLEASE. I BEG YOU. NO YOLO SHIT).

2. Stop being so cruel about your body. You’ve no thigh gap? You’ve no bikini bridge? You’ve a tummy and cellullite? Spots maybe? Stop and look around. Oh, come on, you weren’t meant to look at the 17 year old model on that hoarding. You were meant to look at random people on the streets. You’re like them. People who eat and enjoy it. Some of them may do it too much, ok, but still, my point is, as far as you take care of your body, you’ve no need to be skinny and dieting. Once again, you’re damn beautiful, just like everyone else. What’s worth it is what’s inside of you.

3. Respect yourself. Respect everybody (but have a sense of humour. May it be as strong as possible. It’s a difficult combination, but I’m sure you can make it). You’re no more and no less than anybody here in this world – still you’ll have to know when you need to be a little bit selfish and when you needn’t. You’re the one and only you.

4. Go get that freaking ice cream.

5. Dear God, if you’re really up there, please let me be as funny as Joey, Barney Stinson, Rowan Atkinson, Dick Van Dyke, David Walliams, Matt Lucas, the Marx brothers and the Monty Python. All together. I know it’s tough, but you’re the almighty. If I could pass my finals this year, you can make that.

6.  Have a sense of humour. Let it be like the son you’ll never have. Take care of it. Feed it. Cuddle it. Love it. It’s the safest boat ever to have a good time. Be funny. Be happy. Remember: when you’re not happy, people who love you may not be as happy as you want them to be, mainly because they may care about you. Draw a smile, pull out some laughter. The feeling they get should be cool. The feeling you may get is priceless.

7. By the way, thank you for bringing me that ‘Kings of Leon’s lead singer’s’ doppelganger. Really. I’m even thinking on going to the church one of these days to…well, whatever people do in churches to thank you for shit.

8. Be strong. Don’t go and try lifting cars. You’re not Hulk. It’s good for you to forget the drama. It hurts? It’ll heal. Understand situations and learn from them.

9. FOR GOD’S SAKE, YOU’RE NOT THE HULK. LEAVE THAT LORRY ALONE. (If you’re not lifting anything heavy, my apologies. It was just in case).

10. Make your dreams come true. Fight for them. That’s the only thing Disney got to teach you right. Forget about the prince. You already know that he’s always gay. Dream big. Don’t let anybody, not even your closest relatives, tell you that it’s impossible. For any reason. And if you ever feel blue, worthless or shit, look back. You’ve already achieved things you dreamt of when you were little. Be proud. Let yourself feel proud. Really (Limits apply).

11. Never stop working and making things happen (not all of them, some will happen on their own when you let go). That’s the only way for #10 to happen.

12. Be yourself. Don’t be afraid of what you can achieve. Don’t be afraid of yourself. Trust yourself. Trust your intuition. It’s the only way up.

13. Be a good person. Be nice. Be there when your people needs you. Never forget (ironic, right?): ‘You reap what you sow’.

14. Be understanding (but not stupid), we all have reasons behind our actions and words. Even you do. Ha.

15. Be independent. You must learn who you are before loving somebody. You may be surrounded by people, but in the end it’s you and yourself. Learn to do things on your own. It’s quite good, you’ve tried it. Once you learn to be independent, you learn to be free.

16. “A girl becomes a woman when she learns to love herself more than she loves a man”. – M.Monroe.

17.  Weird drawing of a flamingo.

20. “You. I can be open to anybody. But you. When you look me in the eyes, my cheeks go red. I look like a tomato. And tomatoes don’t talk. That’s why”.

21. Always look for the reasons why things are the way they are.

22. Names for your future kids (/otters/cats/parrots/hamsters): Thaïs (girl). Nuno (boy).

23. Never have a child before you’re 30. Remember: 30’s are the new 20’s. So, nowadays you’re 14. Illegal.

24. Don’t be pushy. If things are to happen, they will.

25. Love (and friendship) is about sharing, not sucking life from other people. Don’t let anybody do that to you. Again.

26. EAT CHOCOLATE. DANCE AROUND. You’ll fall. Have fun at the hospital.

27. Live and let live. How amazing it is when people share their moments with you?

28. Listen. To other people. To yourself. To your inner voice. Don’t listen to television, politicians or Miley Cyrus.


30. Then change Miley for Kanye. No one ever listens to Kanye. #truth

31. Why the fuck is there a hashtag in a handwritten notebook?

32. Treat every person the way you want to be treated.

33. Find the magic in every little thing. There’s always some. Except from that fucking cupboard. Death to the cupboard. Now.

34. Make love to your bed. Even though that asshole doesn’t let you. Alarm clocks are so jealous.

35. Trains, planes and buses DON’T wait for you. Show up on time. Even though you know the boarding closing time is really the boarding opening time. It may be Ryanair. You may want to choose who you sit with. If you’re not lucky, you may be sent to travel in the pressurized hold.